Sunday, April 11, 2010

Womes Volleyball Cameltoes

Whoever gets it is! The experience of crossing southern Nigeria by!


Buea, April 11, 2010


is better to travel filled with hope to get
(Japanese proverb)

Hello big family ... without wait as long as last time, here goes the chronicle of our journey .. des of course, this section has no waste and has been full of stories of all kinds, has been very intense.
The last letters he had written them in Cotonou, where we give the uncertainty of whether to hire someone to accompany us across Nigeria, or at least the miles is to Lagos. We finally decided to go it alone while we had confirmed that we should not pay anything to enter the van in the country.
We arrived at the office, and we found a surprisingly quiet for being in the early hours of Sunday, and being in Christian quarters, most people are in mass. We are relieved the peace and convince us that things are going to be quick and easy. Well, more than 4 hours between one thing and another. The first hurdle comes when we say we can not enter the country, because in Spain there is the swine flu, and should be vaccinated. We teach a series of documents, photocopies, forms and tell us that the only solution is to return to our country, we can not go out there! So what?? The discussion is extended enough to begin to feel we were wasting our time.
Naive of us, yet we're finding here is arranged with money, let alone a thing .. not?? So you about an individual, partner of the opposite, telling Sofia that he wants his friend's money. We discussed a price, which ultimately is a pittance, but seems happy. I starting to lose patience with us and see that little more are going to take, because if something have is time .. In this way we draw the first step. In the second, and we face a new problem, just give us 7 days Lesse-passe to the van, so we cross the country in a week.
After this comes another and another and another until the least desired of all, the inspection van. Drawers, cupboards, little pockets, kitchen, .. We believe that the search lasted one to two hours, which drugs were studied one by one, even some computer checks on mobile phones by customs specialists in drug trafficking, (amazing technology for Nigeria). A circus, we thought we would end with a small armed robbery, confiscating what they wanted, but in which only left with an anti malarial, and asking in a polite manner. I think in the end, until we can say that was a fun experience, even going to look and lifelong friends. Awesomely ridiculous. This has been the beginning of this odyssey called Nigeria.
Once across the border and we are happy to have released more than a few euros in this show, we stopped just past the fence, looking for a place to change money and fill the tank with gasoline. This country is one of the largest oil producers in the world, seeing is believing, a liter costs half the price of what we are accustomed to now. Nothing to stop a guy comes through the window of the driver, in this case of Barto, saying, "Money, Money giveme!" ... ".. Barto boots, boots !!!!" and try to grab the keys type the van will go into full wafer while looking in the mirror and suddenly we are following two bikes. Shit! Go welcome .. hurry and not give us scope. Finally we left behind, but hair has gone him to take the keys, and then if they had bundled, go if he had tied ..
Lesson learned, do not lower the car windows while we stand, and always with the door lowered insurance .. des of course the fame of Nigeria, began to see that no joke, it is very real. Go scare!! The eyes wide open!
From there comes the torture mother, no more than a few tens of kilometers to the business capital of Nigeria, Lakes are about 25 controls, some police, some military, others no one knows, but no, a thousand colors, uniform, and without, but you might as pairs if you do not want to bang on the car with sticks and batons which all are armed, lest that one will pass through my head the idea of \u200b\u200bpassing by without stopping, which as we see so often. And here everyone wants to take advantage of the opportunity presented to them, and now these white boys in the van, it seems a good deal, and sometimes we stop every hundred yards, sometimes every two. The word for this is none other than ridiculous. The truth is that we ran all the checks and hold a hard, just by returning Car papers, passports and vaccination cards to always, of course they want, but we escaped all unpaid, and only one makes us ugly, which finally gave him a shirt for her daughter quinceañera. Things to do!
desperate We leave it half lived in the last hours, and we find ourselves at the entrance to Lagos, where Sofia has made a good contact (couch surfing) where we go to sleep that night. Before reaching a new control target keeps us almost an hour. Half and lost in the chaos of city of 14 million people, comes to us Emmanuel, a Nigerian who worked for different NGO's, and welcomes us super well, and you'll be forever grateful for their hospitality, help and advice. Lagos certainly does not give good vibes for itself.

The next day we leave this busy, and Emmanuel is with us to tell either way. Do not want to miss here. We are happy to be leaving when suddenly we burst a front wheel. Depart the van a little, and from that we triangles and took the cat, and we face a crane that has fixed the van and intends to take the van off the road for a small short, nothing modest, of course. Police, discussions, trying to change the wheel in the meantime and come to a negotiation before it is too late for these three white boys caught without the van out and frozen. Thank God it was Emmanuel, and almost literally kneels for the crane to accept the bribe of a few Naira and we let out. That nerves and chaos, in just a few minutes you spend of listening to music on your van "quietly" to find desperate to not take your van and you pluck to retrieve it. We started, we let Emmanuel in a bus stop so you can return to work, while inside we're all thinking and it will be the next thing we can pass. Emmanuel not go!
decided to continue our way through a secondary road to Benin City, both expected and found no controls, and a half we repent, it is considerably longer, although not so many controls, we we find them in all colors and unimaginable situations. Among the stories and tales that we tell women and the smile of Sofia we all have to pay only a control that makes us very aggressive, and that every minute I spend more money we requested, and as we see that the thing ugly is getting better pay and get out at once. As evening approaches just asking sleeping on the floor of a church in Ifon, and successful. We found a very kind and humane people, and Nigeria is that we have continued to meet hospitable and eager to help you, I must say.
next day more of the same, control control, and we are dedicated from the time to act, if we are missionaries, who come from such a church that will pray for you, God bless. And it seems to work. Others will come later as we are musicians, that if we have a meeting with such consul, if we have a friend in the United Nations ...


are also scammers, collusion with the cops, and escape us as we can, when a guy accompanied by the soldiers we have been saying we need some papers to circulate in the region, some papers not cheap . Supposedly required. The negotiation takes time, never stop the engine of the van, and finally remove the card from the sleeve of saying something like "Wait a minute, I have an important friend in the country that will clear this up" (made in Sofia) . Everything and the move goes well, things just have to drop a new ticket. Fed up with the Nigerians!!

The last night before coming to Calabar slept in a police station, because in the past tells us that control is one of the most dangerous areas of the country, by subject kidnappings, so we decided to try to find the most "safe" and cheap in the area, "post barracks pal." From there, if we are such friends of Officer barracks, if the soldier so .. anything goes in this game.
And finally we come to Calabar and direct the Cameroonian consulate, we want to do as soon as visa and get out of here. Calabar is different is a clean city, and is filled with an unusual calm to be Nigeria. It is the first time we walked quietly through this crazy country without fear, and that is appreciated after the last 4 days of pure paranoia.
Then we decided to find a boat to cross the van to Cameroon, because we heard that the track comes to Cameroon, Mamfe Ekoka to is in a state that makes it very difficult, almost impossible the passage of vehicles than 4x4. And still do not think we want to load the van is an investment that although somewhat exaggerated, the trip is worth it.
make us in the consulate for visa in the same day, and enjoy a friendly, somewhat suspicious, especially because as the consul's brother who was present, Placido (from that time known as "plastik") deals in Sofia. Just so we invite you to sleep at the consular residence Cameroon, and even doubts and accept. An invitation this does not happen every day. That afternoon we're drinking beer with half the staff of the Cameroonian consulate and the consul himself watching the Barca game in a super-flat screen and air conditioning. How strange this is!
Plastik Since that time our process is completely devoted to the ferry tickets, and we begin to see that not only has interests in approach to Sofia, but it appears that the commissions are also in the air. Alcohol, gangs and a touch of asshole, no other words to describe this peazo of goat, besides Plastik, of course!
Between this, and endless negotiations and useless to try to lower the price for any of the possible ways and fall into the delusion that there is only one boat, while in fear, but in Calabar, remain in Nigeria, we give the price, weary and looking forward to Cameroon.
Among this, at this time we are waiting for the meat Passage of the van, we should collected in Calabar, because Jose has sent us by DHL courier. Some sources have told us that is required to enter Cameroon, making us not want to play. This role would arrive Friday, ... shit .. Friday and if everything is closed, at least here until next Tuesday .. As can be!! Thousand calls, visits to DHL, internet, and ask for help from friends to get that document may.

After which means put a van on a ferry African who we thought it would be something bigger, Thanasis, processing paperwork, passport stamp, and decide for duty, trying to go to Cameroon passage without the meat because the visa is running out, we're on the boat. Adios Plastik, Nigerians, and estresss controls. Toca sleeping in seats, hoping to sail about 5 am.

We're at sea, when about 8 am on deck Barto was shown shouting "... Jordi Jordi Jordi, run run !!!!! corrrre .. ". Middle sleepy, barefoot, I begin to follow him and other crew down stairs up to a cabin, and type kept saying, ".. CLOSE THE DOOR CLOSE THE DOOR! YOU UNDERSTAND !!!!???".. Barto and tells me, "dude, we attack the pirates ...!! "They came ??????" queeeeeee a suspicious vessels heading to ours, and what you see, there are many Nigerian offshore pirate ships and the assault is very common, and not think would happen if they find to a white board. I do not think, but how we react hiding just speaks for itself. Luckily, the pirates passed by. What a relief we felt when instead of hearing someone banging on the cabin door, appeared a the crew to tell us that we could go out, that there was no danger. Mama mia! And Sofia without learning anything, because he had left a cabin pa sleep and was dreaming of angels while Barto and I did poo up! Things go .. and from there we learned that until one comes out of Nigeria, whether land, air or sea, one can not be quiet so often wondered, .. "we are in Cameroon?," this is water Cameroon? ". Go relief when the answer was yes.

On the ferry we were very well looked after by Ibrahim. When he learned of the amount we paid and the plot of "Plastik", do not let their guard, I guess that also helped the women smile.

And that also provided things in the landing, which also was not easy. In the evening we reached a small port town called Tico, where after the usual formalities of passport, we can not ship out the van because low tide and wait to upload, so ramp gets more horizontal, so we will wait one more night. A small dinner and sleep in a small hotel full of mosquitoes. There is no other option than this.
The next day we already have enough high tide, and the van out, but we ask a few francs, "" child support? Not as they call it, but still, it seems a steal. We negotiate one of the bikes we carry, but leave the van, we see a broken mirror, a piece of bumper hook and a pair of blows to the plate, so we discuss refusing to pay or bike or anything until we see an liable for damages. As there is no payment.
appears customs rate, says his boss is, and after making us wait several hours to legalize the van in the country, and without asking the dreaded flesh of passage, with a box and we are content Nolotil let out saying we do not need any special document to travel the country. Although we know that is not true, but with doubt, we took to the road, and the first control, and we ask for a paper called a transit permit, we are told that the insurance we carry is not valid, and on top, seal in entry in the passport, instead of April 3, we have March 3 .. shit shit and more shit! The cop and have the excuse to fleece, but as we have no hard, no choice but to touch him let go. We return to Tico, and we will discuss with Customs, where nobody knows anything. Finalmetne make us a transit permit, by asking us a fortune, and left crying and so without paying. What complicated it all, right? We take a valid insurance, immigration back to change us passport stamped, we changed some money and change of plan .. we can relax and feel like we won, so to Limbe to eat pescaito rich.

The next day I go by bus to Yaounde to process my papers for a new passport, while Barto and Sofia are fixing some things in the van, and of course buying new wheels.


We met in beautiful town of Buea. Here we have the desired quiet, a few days without driving, without police checks. Nothing better to relax than to spend a few days on the mountain. This is where we reached the summit of the highest mountain in West Africa to 4090 mtrs, Cameroon mt.

Well, after such a tremendous beating of two days, a very wet and the other for hours and hours of walking, today we played a little rest, because we have a tremendous pain in the legs of the lack of custom, and because there are other holidays in the holiday.
And here today fragonafrica. Perhaps this review is too long, or with few pictures, but really lived with such intensity that has become more difficult to summarize, although not having explained some other experiences that are for the face-off return.
enardecidamente to thank Jose and chat all the gigs that have stuck to recover the meat of passage, really do not know how much I appreciate it, if it goes well tomorrow we will call to see if Yaoundé has been forwarded and we can recover the DHL office.
You know we love you, but we keep repeating, lest anyone forget. We think each of you, and that telepathy exists, but that sometimes fails, it must also be taken into account!
unconditional love to all .. a lot of peace and good health that goes beyond

Happy Spring

Sofi Jordan Barto and

0 comments:

Post a Comment